dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
