he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
