WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
so much tequila, so little girl.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
