We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
