so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
