Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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