This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize