Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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