another moral hangover. fuck.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
