hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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