True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
