So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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