he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
sex in a hospital.. check
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
