MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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