you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
