My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
