omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
