You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize