...so i touched it.
I look better un-naked...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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