yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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