yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
