I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
foreskin is a definite game changer
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
