so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
