If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
