He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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