Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
