I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
