I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
