Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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