I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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