I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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