Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize