Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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