with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
smell my finger.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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