is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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