As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
