if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
