i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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