i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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