C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Quick, to the slutcave!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
