You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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