you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
