I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
