I have demons in me.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
