you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
id be glad to
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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