She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
