1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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