Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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