I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
