i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
