bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
