We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
