I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Buhtt sex?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
