It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
