I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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