You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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