If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
