Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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