All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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