i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
