GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
