As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
