69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
